Monday at the office was horrible. I still like working there very much, but it is hard to fight the gloom and doom of an overworked and slightly dysfunctional office. Believe me, I tried. I sent out pictures of puppies, told very funny jokes, made presents, all to no avail. Eventually I got bogged down in the mire of despair too. The biggest challenge is coping with long, involved projects -- even when you're making progress, it doesn't feel significant if you can't check a whole item of a list. This is a mental exercise in framing more than anything and I need to get better at it. That exercise is: set goals that are attainable. Do not become infatuated with the unattainable. Hint hint euphemism.
Anyway, it took most the evening and a little imbibition to shake the blues. But it is nearly three and I am settled in with my writing and I feel great. The apartment is quiet and warm. I just kicked one paper's ass and intend to, at minimum, fight the other to a draw. These tasks are manageable and I am good at them. The whipped cream on my contentment pie? The following message from Maor, the strange and bounderish love of my life, who took only two months to respond to my email:
hey girl, its been a while your right. i finished my studies and im starting a whole new ones. i wrote and directed a play that was very succesful and im having a good time un the thing i start loving the most (after the kualla bear and sex with ants). i moved to tel aviv and it is the craziest city in the world. and i miss you alot. you remind me of good times only. and every time i see a lesbian i think of you. :)Degenerate illiterate that he is, that Israeli man hits the emotional nail on the head. Things take time to fall in place. Do the thing you're good at. Love your friends absolutely as much as possible, and try to remember to tell them.
Alright, enough with the sap. I have a lot of angry posts pent up, rest assured you will be hearing from my come-down grumpy ass tomorrow.
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